The Commitment Room

Start by reading how tags work and checking the permitted tags for this group in the section below. Then introduce yourself so people know who you are. 

WhatsApp chat

This is the base layer. It’s where people get a sense of who you are over time. Be yourself. Share small updates from your week, a thought you had, something you noticed, a win, a stressful day, a photo of your cat. The goal is not to impress, it’s to become familiar. Familiarity comes from small repeated moments, comfort builds naturally and connection starts to feel real rather than forced.

Weekly online events

These sessions are the spine of the group. Each room is capped at six people to keep things calm, focused, and genuinely social rather than noisy. All rooms run at the same time, every Wednesday at 8pm, for one hour, people are welcome to stay longer if they wish. Be sure to confirm your attendance using the relevant tag so  other members can confirm when a room is full or empty.

Room 1: Priorities and Principles

Discuss values and direction, faith (if relevant), family plans, children, timelines, and non-negotiables. The aim is clarity, not persuasion. 

Room 2: Compatibility and Connection

Explore day-to-day compatibility, routines, health, lifestyle, social life, money habits at a high level, and how you prefer to communicate when things are good and when things are tense. 

Room 3: Discovery Room

Do something light and interactive that reveals humour, energy, and how people work together. Use simple games, prompts, hobby-based topics, or collaborative activities. Agree a plan in the group chat beforehand so the session starts smoothly.

Room 4: Open Room

Keep it casual, introductions, catch-ups, and general conversation for repeated exposure. This is the easiest place to get familiar with people without heavy topics.  

In person events

In-person meetups are optional, member-led, and designed to stay relaxed and social. They are not “dates,” and they do not replace the weekly online sessions, they simply add real-world context and make it easier to build familiarity through shared experiences.

Members should float an idea in the chat first using the relevant tag to gauge interest, then create the event using WhatsApp’s Events feature if there’s enough interest. All in-person meetups are capped at six people. The first six to RSVP are the attendees.

Member-led WhatsApp call events are not permitted in this group.

Secure interest signalling

If repeated interaction creates interest, private conversation is part of the process, but it follows a clear structure to reduce awkwardness and protect both people. Familiarity comes first. After speaking in a session or meetup, interest can be signalled using the relevant tag. Do not message directly. If the other person is open, they message first. If they do not respond, treat that as a respectful no.

Friendships vs Romantic

Friendships will naturally form as part of this group’s process. This is expected because sessions are not restricted by gender, and #INV is intentionally not defined as romantic only. That ambiguity is by design, the group is meant to feel like a real social space, with key filters already applied.

The purpose is to build connections, not to pair people up. Use #INV to continue a connection already started in the group, then let intentions become clear privately over time. Sometimes friendship stays friendship, sometimes fondness grows and it becomes romantic.

Members should be mindful that any private conversation request may be romantic, even when not stated, and respond with that possibility in mind.

At its core, the group works when members understand one principle: connection here is built through consistency, visibility, and intention.

Any required links and key info for this room will always be kept in the group description. 

All tags must be in ALL CAPS and start with a hashtag. Anything in brackets is optional context to include so others can better understand. 

🏷️#NEW [name, info] 

Introduce yourself as a new joiner.

🏷️#ROOMX [Y/6] 

Claim a spot for this week’s online session. Replace X with the room number, and Y with your attendee number out of 6 (for example, ROOM2 3/6). If a room is full, choose another. This helps the group self-manage the 6 cap.

🏷️#EVENT 

Float an idea and gauge interest before creating an in-person event. If there’s enough interest, create the event using WhatsApp’s Events feature.

🏷️#INV [@member] 

Request a private conversation with someone you’ve already interacted with in a session or meetup.  Do not DM first. If they’re open to it, they DM you  as a response.
This may imply romantic interest. There is no obligation for the requestee to respond in the group.

In addition to the overall community expectations, this group has a few extra rules to keep the space organised, respectful, and genuinely outcome driven. 

✅ Intention first

This room is for people who are genuinely available and actively seeking marriage and long-term partnership. If your intentions change, please step back so others can benefit from aligned energy.

✅ Six people maximum per event

All online and in-person events are capped at six. If a room is full, select another. The cap is enforced through culture to keep discussions focused and allow everyone to be heard.

✅ No member-led call events

To keep the weekly online sessions as the central shared rhythm, members are not permitted to create WhatsApp call events in this group.  Any call events created will be removed.

✅ Commit to events thoughtfully

Events are intentionally small. If you signal that you’re attending, show up, last minute dropouts are unfair to others because they take a limited spot and reduce the quality of the room. Consistency builds familiarity and trust.

✅ No dating-app behaviour 

This room is designed around gradual connection through shared participation.  Avoid behaviour that creates confusion, mixed signals, or competitive dynamics within the group. 

Skipping group interaction, rushing outcomes, or treating the space like a shortcut undermines the structure and breaches expectations.

✅ Confidentiality is essential

What is shared within sessions or the group stays within the group.

✅ Private messages via request only

Private conversation requests are only appropriate after you’ve spoken to the person at least once in a weekly session or an in-person meetup.

Do not DM first. Use the relevant tag to request a private conversation. If the other person is open to it, they will DM you first. If they do not respond, treat that as a no and do not send repeated requests or follow-ups.

Only one private invitation may be made to the same person. Repeated invitations to the same member breach group expectations.

This protects respect, comfort and reduces awkwardness. Breach of this rule will not be tolerated to ensure the space remains safe for everyone.

✅ Only create in-person events when interest is clear 

Discuss the idea in chat and gauge interest using the appropriate tag before creating an event. Only create an event if there is clear interest. This keeps the group uncluttered and organised. 

Events must be created via WhatsApp's events feature.

The points below clarify what this group is not, so you can decide whether it’s the right space for you. 

🚫 A dating app 

This is not a swipe-based or instant-chemistry environment. You are not browsing profiles or collecting matches.

🚫 Speed dating

You are not being set up with someone new each week, and sessions are not designed to guarantee gender balance.

🚫 A place for casual dating

This is not for situationships, short-term exploration, or “seeing what happens.”

🚫A performance space

The goal is not to impress, compete, or win attention. The structure is built around familiarity and gradual understanding.

🚫 A shortcut to private contact

Skipping group interaction to pursue private conversations undermines the process, breaches group expectations and will not be tolerated.

🚫 A place to “window shop”

If you’re lurking to assess options without engaging over time, you’ll get little value and it weakens the culture for others.

🚫  A space for unclear availability

If you’re not genuinely single and available, or you’re keeping things vague, this isn’t the right room.